Goodbye Year 2007

At last, it's the last day of 2007....How fast time passes by and never comes back. This is the time when people start to recall everything that they have done this year, and all memories will be coming back to you.What big events had happened during the year? What have you done? Is this a productive year? Had everything gone well for the whole year? And the questions continue...

For certain people, they might feel sort of nostalgic, as they know that the year 2007 will be ending today, and there will be no more year 2007. The time, the moments, the hours, the events are all memories now. You feel down because good times are all gone, whereas bad moments stay as sad memories. And perhaps, knowing the fact that how fast time passes and never comes back, we all will learn to cherish the presence, for it will become the past as time goes by. Just like reading a book, only at the end that you will know and learn the whole truth, the themes, the values and today is the end of year 2007, you have gotten all the 'memories'. They are either being kept in a book in the form of writings, in home-made movies, in pictures, or simply just in your brain. And all these memories have their own meanings and they bring you different feelings, happy or sorrow.

While you are feeling low for the end of 2007, without realizing, it's a new year tomorrow. To think from a point of view, we all should start making plans for the future - year 2008. Set up your mind, goals, objectives, targets and etc etc. If you are feeling regret and sad because of something you have missed or done wrong, then this new coming year means a new hope, a new beginning, a new chance. Grasp the presence, and make sure you know what you want. Perhaps it's a tough road ahead, but with enough faith, i guess we all can make it and who knows, the rainbow will soon appear.

After midnight, there will be no more year 2007, but that doesn't mean there will be no more future. We still have our families, we still have our loved ones, we still have each other, we still have our lives, our breaths and together with the hope of a better tomorrow, life continues...

Goodbye year 2007...

月牙湾 Yue Ya Wan (Moon Crest Bay)

月牙湾 Moon Crest Bay
歌手：f.i.r. 专辑：爱.歌姬

敦煌古墓的沙粒 The sand at the magnificent tomb,
带着我们的际遇 Having our moments and everything we had gone through,
我从半路看回去 From half way I looked back,
这秦关漫漫好蜿踞 This Qin gateway * is so rough and sinuous,
梦想穿过了西域 Dreams fly pass through the West region,
包含了多少的缠意 Having so much meaning.

爱情像一本游记 Love is like a journal,
我会找寻它的密语 I will look for its secret codes,
看..月牙湾下的泪光 Look…tears on the Moon Crest Bay,
在丝路之上被遗忘 Being forgotten on the Silk road,
是谁的心啊孤单的留下 Whose heart is this, being left lonely here,
他还好吗我多想爱他 Is he still all right, how much I wanna to love him,
那永恒的泪那一句话 That eternal tears; that sole speech,
也许可能蒸发 Probably will be evaporated.
是谁的爱啊又为谁降下 Whose love is this, and for who it rains down?
轻声呼唤就让我融化 Just summon in soft voice is able to melt me down,
那一滴雨水演化成我翅膀 That drop of rain changes and becomes my wings,
向着我爱的人追吧 Chasing towards my lover.

梦想穿过了西域 Dreams fly pass through the West region,
包含了多少的缠意 Having so much meaning.
爱情像一本游记 Love is like a journal,
我会找寻它的密语 I will look for its secret codes,
看..月牙湾下的泪光 Look…tears on the Moon Crest Bay,
在丝路之上被遗忘 Being forgotten on the Silk road,
是谁的心啊孤单的留下 Whose heart is this, being left lonely here,
他还好吗我多想爱他 Is he still all right, how much I wanna to love him,
那永恒的泪那一句话 That eternal tears; that sole speech,
也许可能蒸发 Probably will be evaporated.
是谁的爱啊又为谁降下 Whose love is this, and for who it rains down?
轻声呼唤就让我融化 Just summon in soft voice is able to melt me down,
那一滴雨水演化成我翅膀 That drop of rain changes and becomes my wings,
向着我爱的人追吧 Chasing towards my lover.

是谁的心啊孤单的留下 Whose heart is this, being left lonely here,
他还好吗我多想爱他 Is he still all right, how much I wanna to love him,
那永恒的泪那一句话 That eternal tears; that sole speech,
也许可能蒸发 Probably will be evaporated.
是谁的爱啊又为谁降下 Whose love is this, and for who it rains down?
轻声呼唤就让我融化 Just summon in soft voice is able to melt me down,
那一滴雨水演化成我翅膀 That drop of rain changes and becomes my wings,
向着我爱的人追吧 Chasing towards my lover…

This is a new song, just out by a Taiwan group called F.I.R. At first, don't really find anything special about the song, but as i listen more and more, i am getting to like the song more and more. One of the main reasons is because they use Chinese traditional music instruments to play with, and the lyrics is so romantic, thus creating a song that is so smooth when heard. Fill with the beauty of the Oriental..Love it.

The Missing Part

It's been a week of holidays, and basically just stay at home and do nothing, though i did have my own quality and happy time for 2 days. Now back at hometown again, i have nothing to do, except helping mother around with cookings and house chores. Boring, and feel sort of lost since i don't have anything to do, nor a short-term goal. So, i really want to read some books, to gain some knowledge as well as for some entertainment, after all, reading is full of fun too, not just games. Read back some books which i have read long time ago, such as Three Kingdoms (Chinese Classical novel which based on true history) or maybe go online look for manga to read and some anime to watch to fill up the time. For people like me, these are really fun and enjoyable enough, to just lie down and read, or just watch some anime, but somehow something is missing there which is like the missing piece of of a map. I guess i know what am i missing, and what i really need to make it a pleasurable holidays...

And i don't think i will let go off the hand...

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A Belief, A Hope, A Dream : It's Your Love

Everything's still that bad, and i have been trying my best to put back all the pieces, and make things all right again, as it used too. I admitted that i have been crying for days, but somehow whenever i fall asleep, the dream is always there, a probably 'never-come-true' dream of mine. Smiles, kisses, huggings, loving, caring, understanding...etc etc. Somehow it's still there, and i wonder myself, what does it indicate me? Why i tried so hard on insisting? Why i can't let it go? What happened to me? What spell i am under? I really don't know, so i slept early these few days, after shedding some tears , so that i can find the answer inside the dream again...

Finally, after a long dream, i reached to the answer for all the questions i have been thinking, i opened my eyes, and i smiled.

It's your love...

Dancin' in the dark
Middle of the night
Takin' your heart
Holdin' it tight
Emotional touch
Touchin' my skin
Askin' you to do
What you've been doin'
All over again
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I've just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go

(Chorus)
It's your love
Just does somethin' to me
Sends a shock right through me
Can't get enough
So if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
It's your love

Better than I was
More than I am
All of that happened
By takin' your hand
Who I am now
Is who I've wanted to be
Now that we're together
Stronger than ever, happy and free
Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
And if you ask me why I'll change
All I gotta do is say your sweet name

(Repeat chorus)

The End Of World...

The storm hasn't stopped since my birthday that day, and i am sure that this month is the worst month ever in my life. Days are getting darker and darker as time passed by, and the pain is getting more and more unbearable. I tried to be strong, i tried not to cry, but still the tears will not stop coming down off my cheeks. It's really embarrasing for a man to cry, but i did cry and that's the truth. It's believed that tear has magical power, that it's able to take away one's sadness, but somehow it didn't work this time, even after i have cried lots of times...

Woke up very early this morning, my eyes are still red, and i still can find the tears are still there, and i am trying my best to hold it. Washed my face, wishing i can wash away the sign of tears, but it's still there. I looked at myself in front of the mirror, i see inside my own eyes, and i couldn't find a soul there. I put my hand in front of my chest, tried to feel my heart, but there's nothing there. The only thing is the body, without any soul or heart. I know where they have been...

Regret and sad, i started to hate myself for failing everyone. I kept telling myself to endure, because they said, after the rain, the sun will come out soon. And i kept telling myself, to keep my strength and faith, that this is just a test. I don't know whether it helps, i only know that i want to be there. I have often live in darkness, stretching my hands looking for a light, and now that i found it, just when i wanna to grab it and hold it tight, it started to slip through my fingers...

Maybe, maybe this is how it feels, the end of world...

A Test In Life...

Sometimes in life, we will just have to learn, either in a cruel way or kind one, that we have to be independent, be strong and live your life the way you want it, with or without the supports of your family or friends. I used to believe that the deciding factors are always yourselves, you always have choices in your life and yes, in most of the cases. But now i learnt that sometimes, you just don't have rights in certain things regarding your life, it's all up to others. Now the test has come, and there's no other way to hide now, you can only deal with it bravely. You can run, but you can't hide, either way it's coming. To believe in yourselves, or to follow the others? It's time for me to choose...

'I fell down badly and totally helpless, so now i am gathering all my strength to stand up and fight again...'

Season's Greetings

It’s already mid of December, and it means that Christmas is just around the corner. Everywhere you go, the Christmas atmosphere is there. Christmas trees here and there on the street, and lighting decorations all along the road. Supposedly , I should be sending greeting cards to all my friends who are Christian, my ex-classmates during secondary school and my college friends, even though I am not Christian, but I guess that doesn’t mean I don’t have to send any greeting card for Christmas. However, for a lazy bug like me, stepping out of my room for food sometimes can be considered a tedious work for me and now sending greeting cards? Too much for me, I guess. So I decided to wish everyone through my blog (though most of them don’t even know the existence of my blog). It will be much simpler and easier, no? (Haha)

So, to all my friends, my family, my loved one and anyone who is reading my blog now, I wish you all Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ~ ~ ~ !

Below is the greeting card (pictures) and my wishes for you all :

To :
My friends, my family, my loved one, and anyone who is reading now,

May all the wishes warm up your heart and fill your days with joys and happiness.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.


Yours sincerely,
Yett

Myspace Chistmas Graphics

It's Beautiful...

It's been raining for days now, and i am here at hometown. Woke up extra early today, because if i don't, there will be no breakfast for me, sort of like a 'family tradition'. The morning is extra cold, with the rain and wind keep coming. Walked outside the house, i looked up to the sky, it's moody with blue greyish colour, and far distance there's cloud floating. The sun hasn't appeared yet, or maybe it already has appeared, just that it's hiding behind the cloud. I followed my grandpa to nearby Indian stall for breakfast. Sitting inside the small truck, I can see the young oil palm trees located nearby my house. Green and fresh they looked, and from the open window, the fresh leaf aroma can be smelled as the breeze blowing towards me while my grandpa drove us to the stall.

Lousy it may seem, but the food is delicious in the Indian stall. It's an open-air stall with no walls nor door, located just in front of the oil palm tree estate. My grandpa loves to come here for breakfast, i wonder if it's because of the food or just because he is fond of this kind of 'nature-close' environment. After ordering 'nasi lemak' , tea and coffee , we sat down and wait. The rain still continues, not very heavy though and from our seat, we can enjoy the beautiful scenary of the estate. And behind the trees, high mountains are slightly visible with the thick white fog covering them, as if they were the celestial zone...

After finishing our breakfast, we went back immediately. I always enjoy looking at the rubber tree estate in front of our house. Rows of tree with green leaves and the rain today makes them look extra beautiful and it's where you can get the best oxygen supply. It makes you healtier and happier for every breath you inspire in, magical isn't it? I bet people who have never been living in the rural area will never understand the 'beauty' of this kind of place. Every morning after people living in stone jungle wake up, all they can hear is the honing of cars and breath in the 'fresh' exhaust fumes from the cars while i am listening to the songs of the early birds together with the rhyme of rain, and inspire in the best air ever. I just love this place.

Oh, it's beautiful...

Happy Birthday : 19th Birthday

Finally, the clock struck 12, and i am officially 19 years old now. I woke up pretty early the day before, and it's raining again, probably it's the birth of a dragon. There are friends who already wished me 'happy birthday' on the 6th of December. Some through sms, some through internet and i was really happy. I always thought that i don't make much impression during my college time, so most probably my friends wouldn't remember about my birthday, and that i am just like a shadow, unnoticeable. So, i thought this year birthday will be just like any other days, nothing special. To my surprise, i had gotten wishes more than i imagined. A close friend of mine during college time had even wished me happy birthday 4 days earlier. Actually he mistaken about the date, haha, but still the wish made my day brighter. Then yesterday, my ex-housemate had also wished me through msn, which made me felt so happy too, at least i know they still remember me.

So, the night had a surprise for me as well. My housemates decided to go out for a dinner with me, though there are only 3 of us. I never knew that they actually remember as well, after all, i don't remember theirs (which make me feel so bad). So, we went out to a fancy restaurant, for some western food and the food are really good. We ordered English Traditional Herbs Lamb Chop (not for me), Millan Style Fried Chicken, Fish Chips And French Fries. Enjoyed ourselves, and i was really happy, perhaps knowing that my birthday wasn't really going to turn out to be a boring and lonely day.

Now the clock struck 12, and there are people starting to sms me through phone, wishing me happy birthday. They did, remember me after almost 2 years, friends from secondary school. Thought that they will not remember, after all, i couldn't remember theirs too (uhh, i guess i am really such a lousy friend). Not only that, my housemates had already bought a small piece of cake, just one small piece, with one candle on it, knocking my door and gave it to me. I was already feeling shy and still there was 'Happy Birthday' song sang by them with a guitar, i couldn't feel more awkward than this. But deep inside, i am really happy somehow. So, we took some pictures, after all, it might be the last chance we can take photo together, since i am leaving soon. Had some good time playing with camera and taking some funny and stupid photos, well just for fun. Probably it might be the last time...

So, at about 5 am at dawn, i got a phone call as well, wished me happy birthday, which made me really happy too, even if it's just a birthday wish. Then the morning i have got to go back hometown, and again the morning is accompany with rain as well. Got my hair all wet only finally got into the bus and soon, i am here at hometown. At least the weather has gone better, and the sun has finally come out. Everyone is smilling, and i guess that's the best present from them to me.

And then, everything's just like normal, nothing special. Feel sort of missing something or someone. But overall, it's a good day. Compared to last year, it was a terrible day, rainy day and had to travel, got scolded by taxi driver, alone and etc etc. Previous last year, i was in graduation trip with friends and celebrated together. And it's always raining during my birthday, i wonder why...

It's rainy day, cold day and my birthday...

Last Few Days Of 18

Emmm…it’s my last few days before officially turn 19, so which means I will have only few days to stay 18. Strange feelings though, maybe knowing I am getting older and that will mean more responsibilities to bear with, as a man, not a boy anymore. Pieces of memories keep flashing through everyday for the last few weeks, probably knowing myself turning 19 soon, so the brain wants to do some ‘cleaning of memories’. Didn’t realized it myself before last week, when others told me it’s already end of November. Oh…time passes so fast.

Lots of things happened during my 18, I guess. Lots of memories, some sweet, some sour, some bitter, some spicy…etc etc. Well, I guess that’s life, rich in tastes. Can’t really describe the feelings now, hard to explain. Haha, at least I know I am growing up as a man soon, and should learn to be gentleman . Last few days, should try to cherish the left time enjoying being 18, time never come back after all. But most probably will be trapping inside this ‘nest’ of mine , study, play some computer games, sleep and eat. And to think carefully, that’s actually enjoyable enough, bet lots of people miss those lazy days and to have such life routine is probably a blessing for them. So, my last few days, few more pages of ‘memories’ to be added inside the ‘memories of 18’ book, should be good memories then…

And hence, another year is yet to begin soon…

(P/S: since i can't really describe my feelings now, so i put a music that sort of represent my feelings now...)

Have I Told You Lately?

(Turn this on before you read, and listen to this song while reading...)


Today I happened to listen to an old song while sitting in car listening to radio. A song that reminds me of the one I love, and somehow don’t know why, probably because of the feeling of missing, or because of the depth of love, it made me feel so much that I lose concentration in everything. Felt as I am sick without the presence, the smiles, the face… ‘Have I told you lately that I love you?...’ as the song went on, the feeling got deeper and deeper, it was like tomorrow’s the end of world, and that I will not die in peace if I couldn’t be there at that moment, and to tell just three simple words …I love you.

Ya…have I told you lately that I love you? I started to think, have I? No, I guess it’s been quite a time since I mentioned that three words. I bet most of the people have also forgotten about that three very easy words, for those who are married, or in a serious long-term relationship, or family members…Hmm, it’s not something strange that people will tend to forget these words, after all, as this fast-changing world moving everyday, life becomes busy and it’s understandable that with the hectic lifestyle, people can forget these words easily. Besides, to have the one with you everyday, or maybe knowing his/her love is always there, around you, thus making you feel that ‘the love’ has become something ‘normal’, and hence you can’t really notice them, or at least appreciate them. Well, if only you know that how hard is it to find the one that can love you so much and you love so much, or if only you know the feeling of regret after you lost them, then probably every morning you will start saying these three words to them, to tell them how lucky you are, how happy you are, or how much you love him/her…

Of course, these three words might look simple and easy, how many alphabets? Eight only…but the significant part about this is that, it has to come from your heart, as if you were sending your heart to him/her and let him/her feel your heart pounding that survives on his/her love. It’s not something like you can say to everyone, or something that you say just to please your partner, it can’t be fake and has to be sincere. So, I always believe that ‘I love you’ is not to be conveyed simply in writing or speech, but to be showed in actions and to give fully your heart for him/her to feel how much you love him/her and then that’s how both of your hearts get linked together and feel the true love. I guess this explain why love always being represented in ‘red heart shape, with an arrow’, because love is all about your heart feeling and the connection. It follows your heart, not your brain to tell you what to do.

For me, ‘I love you’ can be romantic enough. I never judge whether a place or atmosphere is romantic or not by how luxurious, or how many roses, or how many candles there. People tend to see ‘romantic’ with their eyes, but me on the other hand, prefer to feel with my heart, as I believe it’s what ‘romantic’ means. It can be anywhere, anything, anytime; when you are sick, a hot soup delivered to you by him/her , or when you are mad and out of mood, a simple smiles and comforting hands of him/her touching and hugging you, or maybe even a dinner prepared by him/her for you…Those are all romantic enough, probably most people won’t understand why, I guess when you use your heart to ‘see’ them, then you will know and ‘feel’ them too, including the love…

So, why not start to think about ‘giving’ your heart that ‘contains’ the sincere and strong feeling of ‘I love you’ to your beloved ones at this moment right away? Let him/her feel that you do, love him/her very much…

Toilet Wars

I am not sure whether i have sinned, or God just wanna to test my faith, i have gotten food poisoning. Of course food poisoning isn't really some big deal in this century where medicine field is so advanced, though last time food poisoning caused by Vibro Cholera is really something deadly. So, the food poisoning i got now isn't really to be called the end of the world, unlike certain fatal diseases such as cancer. However, it isn't sound as simple as you see or know, food poisoning can be 'deadly' enough, at least for me and trust me on this time.

If you have to wake up in the middle of the night, while your eyes are struggling to open and your brain is too tired to answer the 'emergency calls' from your stomach, that's something really irritating. Fine, you go to the toilet, and start the battle, shooting everything out from your rectum. Thought it was over, but in less than 5 minutes, another 'alarm' sounded, just before you are ready to close your body system, that will be really 'killing'. Again and again, the whole thing repeated, not only you found that you have been going to toilet many times, but the stool is getting more and more watery. Then you realize - food poisoning....!!! Having a diarrhea is bad enough, and now plus with vomiting and the painful stomach, that's nightmare.

And that's what happening to me now. What a pathetic condition, knowing your own body almost get dehydrated but can't even drink a drop of water as ur body is rejecting everything that coming in. Exhausted (you will know if you have to sit on the toilet bowl like 20 times) and sleepy, it's one of my worst days i have had. Uhh, battling with bacteria and viruses isn't really easy work, takes time and suffer lots. I bet even Superman, Spiderman or Batman will lose to this tiny almost 'invisible' little bacteria and viruses that reproduce faster than any other organisms in the world. They too, will definitely be sitting on toilet bowls for hours, having diarrhea once these small neglected organism entered their body,even if they are superheroes. So, please give me strength to survive the wars, and eliminate all this viruses and bacteria out of my body, once and for all...

There are thousands of wars going on everyday in this world, Office Wars, Companies Wars, Cold Wars, Family Wars, Lovers Wars, etc etc....and this, is the story of Toilet Wars.

Hairspray

Had been watching lots of movies in this month. Each movie with their own themes and messages to be delivered to people. Some are funny,some are sad, some are exciting and etc etc. And among all these movies, one of them really deserves complimentary comments (at least from me), so i decided to write about this special movie - Hairspray, a musical based on the sixties trend.

The story is about a teenage girl who dreams going on a local TV show in Baltimore called 'The Corny Collins Show' in the sixties. Of course, things will be much easier if she is blonde,tall, thin and beautiful, but well sometimes things don't happen the way we wish. She is totally the opposite - fat, stout and short. But to have a big and kind heart, i guess she's prettier than anything else. Not only that, she also has the strong determination and the 'happy go lucky' attitude which i found really cute. And that's our Tracy. So, will she be able to get to the show and fulfill her dreams?

Actually the story of Hairspray isn't just some musical shows with lots of singings and dancings without any valuable themes. This musical brings about the themes on confidence, love, perspective of beauty and integration. One of the reasons why musical shows are much better in conveying the author's messages compared to movies is that the use of musics and songs, together with wonderful lyrics which allow the concept to flow into viewers' mind smoothly and easilly, and this, Hairspray the musical has done an excellent job. I had once watched another musical called 'The Producer', which inside they mentioned that a musical show has to be happy,and i totally agree with it. Hairspray is a musical that brings so much joy and fun the viewers, at least you don't have to struggle with your heart nor drop tears for the characters. After all, that's what entertainment should be, right?

I like this musical not only because of its themes, but also on the songs played inside. Songs like Good Morning Baltimore, Without Love, You're Timeless To Me, Miss Baltimore Crabs (though this song is really nasty, but i like it, haha), I Can Hear The Bells and Mama,I Am Big Girl Now are really entertaining. They make you wanna to dance and sing together, thus spreading the joy and happiness among the viewers. You will be able to smile, laugh, sing and dance with a bright mood while watching Hairspray, and don't you agree it's wonderful enough to do all that at the same time?

I have just uploaded some songs of Hairspray here, so take a breath, relax and enjoy the moments : )

Tales Of Little Brown Bear

Zee…zee…zee, before I knew anything, I was born. Small, black eyes and brown hair, with a long plastic attached to my back, with lots of different languages on ways of treating me, and also my father name ‘IKEA’ on it, I am a small little bear doll. Born in a factory in Indonesia, not very long after that, I was shipped to Singapore together with all my siblings, after being packed in boxes. Well, to have the chance of traveling on ship crossing country wasn’t something bad, I guessed I was lucky.

Arrived in IKEA mall in Singapore, I was being dropped in a large cage, together with all my siblings. Arg…I though at least they will put me inside a nice beautiful glass rack to be chosen and be sold out, not inside a big cage, cramping with all my siblings. Life there wasn’t really fun though, everyday seeing people passing through me, looking and touching, but none were interested in buying me. Even if there were people who want to buy, it wasn’t me that had been chosen. No choice but to wait for the right one…I guessed.

At last, a tall big white guy finally got me in his hand, smiling at me, I knew it was my lucky day to escape from that crowded cage. I was happy, to be able to see the outside world, when he carried me into a taxi and brought me home. Home…ya, I have a home now, and a new master too. I was wondering what will happen in the future then.

I thought I will be put on the bed, or at least be able to see the light, but too bad, I was being kept inside a cupboard, with the door closed almost all the day. Bored and angry, I hoped I can get out of there immediately. Finally, after few days, I was being taken out by another person, a small guy (well, not a kid, but an almost grown up teenager). I saw the eyes, I knew it. He loves me. Took me in his hand, he was playing my head and continuing shaking my head while laughing. I am not complaining or whatever, but I think he shouldn’t keep doing that cause my head might just detach from my body, though I know he really appreciates me, when he kept on thanking my master. I knew I have a new master now, and finally understood that I was a present to my new master now. Of course, I prefer this new master than the previous one, at least I was put beside the bed, on the night table , and sometimes he will play with me, it’s sure much better than sitting in a cupboard, no? Though he always shakes my head….

Few days later, I was to leave with my new master from the house, and traveled in train, to Malaysia. Again, to have the chance to travel on train in such age, really lucky. Arrived at my new master’s room, I was being put on the table. To my surprise, I have friends there, few of them. I deeply hope it’s a good new beginning…

Now, I had been staying in this room for few weeks. Very often my master will take me in his hand, while lying on the bed, and look at me with eyes full of feelings as he is looking at me with his heart. Hold me close to his body, and then slept soundly. I guessed he is a good master, except that he is too lazy (from the look of the room and the clump of unwashed clothes) and indiscipline (lead a life playing games, eat, sleep and study very little). Living and staying with him , made me understand him more than anyone else. His heart, his feelings, and his thoughts…I believe him ,and support him in everything for the love he gave me. Yes, and I do believe he will change his indiscipline lifestyle now, and becoming a real man, not a lazy bug. Even if he doesn’t have the strength, or maybe even if he couldn’t do it, I am positive that if he knows that I am there to support him silently, he will be able to do it, because he will not want to disappoint me, and thus he will definitely not fail, for the trust I have in him…

Go Go Go!!!

Homemade Pudding

There are lots of things i love to do, for example like sleeping, eating delicious food, reading, relaxing, thinking, etc etc and that includes cooking. Haha, a lazy guy like me actually enjoying making dishes, desserts and tasty food, that's probably surprising.

So, yesterday while shopping with brother in nearby town, i happened to notice the pudding powder they were selling in the shop, while looking under 'dessert area' for mom's wanted jelly powder. I have never had experience in learning or making pudding myself, but somehow the delicious and beautiful pudding pictures on the packages started to get my attention. My mind already began to imagine eating the sweet pudding of different flavour, and i can see pudding floating in front of my eyes, and my salivary glands already secreating saliva...Well, did i have a choice but to buy the pudding powder?

The pudding powder itself wasn't really expensive, only cost like less than RM10, and it comes with instructions on the package itself, which makes my work easier, or else i ll have to look it up in the internet for recipe. It also comes with fruit flavour already, and i chose strawberry flavour, though there were lots of other fruit flavour like mango, honey dew and etc. Aha, so everything was ready, except that according to the instructions on the back of the package, i need evaporated milk. Not really sure what was it at first (you can imagine now how deep is my knowledge in cooking, haha), except that i know that it must be one of those milk that they sell in cans. Finally, after looking around, i found them, and purchased one. Other than that, nothing else i need, as i have other ingredients at home.

At first i wanna to make the pudding after i shower, since i want to be clean, fresh and ready for my 1st 'pudding making experiment', but since my mom wanna to use the kitchen(dinner soon), so i had no choice to make them in the evening. Read the instructions again and again, i wanna to make sure totally no mistake and more importantly, i don't want to waste my money spent on this powder, and also i wanna to eat pudding, hahaha. The ingredients are as follow:
3000ml of clean water,100g of sugar, 400ml of evaporated milk, fruit sugar (comes with the package), and whole package of pudding powder with fruit flavour.

It's sure sound simple for me, and the instructions in making are also very easy, not much in techniques and experience, so i guess a noobie like me can definitely make it. And of course, to think of the beautiful pudding that will soon be made and eaten by me, those yummy taste, those soft texture surely increased my determination and spark up my spirit in making it right.

Stirred here and there, boiled the water, mixed the ingredients, pour this and there....Faster than i thought, it was there, pink in colour and still in liquid form (still very hot). My mom has always some plastic containers (small, to contain jelly-like food), and decided to lend me some, after she saw the fire in eyes and my dripping saliva. Put all the warm liquid strawberry pudding into the mould, i can smell the sweet milk with strawberry flavour coming from the pot. Well, how to describe that feeling....Emmm,exciting? Yes, very much.

Looked like i have succeeded, and Thank God, i didn't fail and wasted all the money.My reward? I got to eat pudding, that's of course. Other than that, i was able to gain more experience in cooking, and a feeling triumph and a sense of satisfaction inside me, it was good. There are total 9 pudding i made, which were almost all big saiz one. After letting them to cool down, i carefully put them into the fridge. Well, i don't want to drop them and all my effort will be in vain, and then my pudding will say goodbye to me. Yes, i made it, i made it, i made it! All on my own, hahaha.

I had just tried them just now, and they tasted really good, and best of all, i didn't get poisoned also, hahaha. It's cool, soft, smooth, and when eaten, fresh milk taste is embedded in it together with the sweet sensation of strawberry. They are all good, and i am really happy with them. And now...Emmmm, yum yum.




(P/S : I am eating the pudding now while writing on this blog...yummy)

Sunday

Again? Yea, again I walked to the train station, but not rushing this time. Arrived on time, body all wet as usual. With the big bag, laptop and the almost weigh 5kg anatomy and physiology book on my arm, it didn’t seem odd, no? Strained every single muscle cells in my body, I still have to wait in the line to pass through the immigration. Guess it’s a good way to train and get a ‘six packs’.

Got into the train, surprisingly, they have entertainment for all the passengers. Songs were played and broadcasted through the speakers. I wondered if it’s radio or CD, because if it’s CD, I would love to ask where they get the CD, it has all the nice 80’s English love songs, which floating smoothly into my ears. I was tired, not really sleepy though, and down, it was normal to feel all that. Started to chunk in pieces of rice crackers into my mouth, I switched on my laptop and decided to write something. Probably I get addicted in writing in a train? Or maybe the feelings, inspiration, time, idea or whatever, just crashed into my mind, and I wanna to write them out.

Time passed so fast, I arrived here that day, and now I am in the train again. For anyone who has been reading my blog, probably will have known about my life ‘schedule’, haha. Nothing really special happened this weekend, basically just stayed at home, enjoying ourselves, cooked little bit, and rarely stepped out of the house. Emm, I guess it’s the ‘nothing special’ thing that made this weekend very special…simple and loving. For most people, these are normal, but for me, it’s what I called special.

It’s Sunday, now and then I found myself don’t really fond of Sunday. Well, most of the people like Sunday, cause it means day-off, and you have plenty of time resting, dating, or doing whatever you like. But too bad for me, Sunday means something else. Every morning of Sunday, I usually find myself feeling blue after getting up, and knowing that today is the day of separation. I have to leave either my family or the one I love on Sunday, so there’s always a struggle of feelings inside me. I don’t want to leave, if possible, because I like to stay the way I am, or maybe you can say that I am too dependant. Sunday also means that tomorrow is school day, and I need to go to university, though sometimes I sort of skip them. Just that sometimes I wish Sunday comes slower, that way I have more quality time to spend with, and don’t have to leave so early. But well, time never stop for anyone, pretty cruel. But it’s all right, if I can’t change the time, I will try to change myself, change the place and thus create more opportunities…

Writing In The Train

Again, I traveled in train back to Malaysia. It’s been so long ever since I slept on the bed in the train. Feel sort of small now, compared to last time when I felt exactly the right size, which means…I have become bigger in size? I should be happy then, haha. Carried pretty much loads with me, and walked to the train station is actually a hard work, so when I arrived, I was showered with sweat. Not very tired, but extremely hot.

Got into the train, climbed to the upper berth, it’s funny to just think how I cramped into that small space, luckily I am small enough, lol. The train departed not very long after I got in. And then the siren sounded ‘do do do…kachang ,kachang ,kachang…’, it continued to move forward. Trapped in this small space, I constantly looked at the window, as if fisherman waiting for the fish to bite the bait. As it passed, I kept on looking outside and finally the train passed through the building. Looking at the apartment that I had been staying in for days really got me into something. It’s really a strange feeling, when you see yourself went pass through the house/place that you have been living for quite a time, especially when the place contains so much memories and that you couldn’t even touch it, or stop for a while to have another gaze into it. And to know that how close you two were when it passed, but couldn’t even stop by to look into the eyes. Really odd feeling…as it passed through so fast, and that’s it, you missed it.

Arrived in the immigration check point, and to hear the familiar songs from the radio that is always played there, while waiting in line to pass through, somehow I smiled. And when the song ‘Love Is All Around’ was played in the radio, I can’t help moving my shoulder and felt like wanna to dance too, if only I have my partner here. Smiling alone while moving your head and shoulder can really make other to misunderstand that you are a nut, I guess, haha.

Back to the bed in train, where I am writing now, listening to songs while trying to note down all the tiny tiny feelings, thoughts and words as much as I can, before I could forget them when I wake up tomorrow morning…

Last Day of Holidays

So, today is the last day of my holidays, woke up pretty early, at about 5sth am, by one of the worst nightmares i had.Were trying to get back to sleep after that, but all the efforts were in vain, let's just hope it will not come true...At about 7 am, after all the washing and cleaning, went out with family and grandpa for breakfast outside, at an Indian stall just right in front of the large beautiful oil palm tree estate nearby. It's a beautiful morning, with some fog covering the view, and rays of light penetrating through the light blue sky, while the birds were chipping and singing songs so cheerfully. A great day, i supposed...except of the nightmare part.

Back from breakfast, saw my dog, evil thought came in,hehe. I took the tissue paper which i used to clean my lips after breakfast, and i tied it up on my dog's tail and enjoyed seeing my dog turn round and round, trying to get the tissue paper off. Finally,she was able to take it off, and tore it to pieces(the dog's inner thought :I gotcha, haha, time to revenge, i want to tear you to pieces for disturbing my tail,arg...). Wahaha, it was so fun, and i am so evil...LOL. Emm, i guess i have to start packing, though not much, just the bag and the laptop. And to think clearly, i have done nothing during this holidays, i didn't even touch the notes or the books. Was playing games, sleeping, eating...and wasting time. Not very productive, didn't even try to practice my driving skills (it's not bad, but practice makes the master). But to think back, it's holidays after all, if one were supposed to be working during holidays, then it shouldn't be called holidays,no? Well, anyway i think i have wasted lots of time, after all, i am still lagging behind in my studies. And, i still have some research to be done before Tuesday, but well i think i can finish it in one hour time.Internet is really such a useful tool...haha.

The messed up feeling needed to be fixed before the university starts or else i will definitely not be able to concentrate on studies (again). Really need to start to get ready and mentally prepared, leave all the messed up feelings behind and start the journey again. Really wish i have an Angel with me, that can always be my listener with patient and guidance; that will always stand by me with love and cares; that may fuse with me as one with no secret and barrier between...Oh, it's just another dream, perhaps...Some sort of ''imaginary friend'' like little kid used to have, and i want an ''imaginary Angel'', getting childish?Or just being ignorant? Ha, just a dream?

Ok, enough of that. Back to reality now, there's nothing to feel bad about, look at the birds, singing so happily even though they have nothing but a small nest. And i have everything now, family, lover, friends...just need to learn how to appreciate and preserve it, and make it lasts, agree?

* smiles : )

Mr Diana / Feminine Masculinity (先生貴性)

I have so much free time now, since it's holidays, so i spend quite a time watching TV. And so by chance, one of the TV channel is broadcasting a Hong Kong drama series - Mr Diana/Feminine Masculinity (先生貴性), which i had watched it long time ago. It's a famous drama series, first broadcasted in 1999. So, after looking at the title (for those who has never watched it), you might think it's another '' for entertainment purpose'' type of drama, which probably about some cross-dresser, and then some comedy and that's it. However, i can guarantee that you will be wrong this time, and that can explain why i will spend time watching the series again.


Let's guess how the story line goes...Some cross-dresser? Some stupid themes? Haha, like i said, you will be wrong. The story line goes like this....It's about a barbaric village man- Ah-Quen, who is actually the leader of a village(not those in jungle, but sort of modern one, like a neighbourhood), and under the influence of the strings of fate, he met with a well-educated, high class businesswoman-Christine, who worked as a leading manager in a fashion company called ''Pessatto'' due to some coincidences. Christine is an arrogant, stuborn, bossy, dominating hot-tempered married woman who is hated by almost everyone wheareas Ah-Quan is just like a barbarian, who speak louder than anyone, hot-tempered, stuborn and always think he is the right one,always. So, you might think this is another movie of love between a barbarian and a modern woman? Lol, wrong again. So, both of them get to know each other and during a game (paint ball), Christine was shot with real gun right in front of Ah-Quan, the bullet penetrated through Christine and hit Ah-Quan as well. Hence, both were injured and sent to hospital immediately, but unfortunely Christine couldn't make it, and died and nobody knows who is the killer, because it's a paint ball game, and investigation was immediately carried out. Hence,one day, in a ball among the high-class society of the fashion world, a women who is 5 feet 9 inches appeared at the ball and succeeded in catching everyone's eyes when she sang in front of everyone, and everyone was eager to know her, Miss Diana. While the Pessatto boss - Joe, just suffered a great lost the death of Christine, as Christine was a such a talented women, and at this ball, finally someone who is as talented as Christine, had appeared right in front of him, Miss Diana finally succeeded in taking over Christine's position in Pessatto.


So, who is this mystery Miss Diana? Ha...actually this Miss Diana is the dead Christine, possessing Ah-Quan's body without his knowledge, dress as an woman, and trying to look for the murderer herself. Her soul couldn't rest in peace as long as the case isn't solved. But, after knowing himself is being possessed by a woman ghost Christine, Ah Quan was terrified, but will a macho, manly barbarian is willing to become a ghost? Of course no, but he has no choice, as Christine can only possess his body, as when she was shot, part of her soul went into Ah-Quan's body. Ah-Quan who has no help fighting a ghost, was desperate(because no one can see the ghost Christine except himself), finally met his saviour when his uncle(policeman who is doing Christine's murder case) is able to see her, as he has a special eyes. His uncle sworn to exocism her if she continues to bother Ah-Quan, after all the mess Christine had done to him (as Miss Diana) . Ah-Quan lost his job, lost his position as the leader of the village, and his wife ran away, what else can be worse? Christine, on the other hand, couldn't possess his body, couldn't really do anything, except loafing around all the suspects. When both of them were desperate, and started to lose hope, under some circumstances, finally they both agreed in working together. Ah-Quan wil let Christine possess his body as Miss Diana, and worked in Pessatto to continue to look for the murderer, while Christine will help Ah-Quan in getting a job in Pessatto using Miss Diana's high rank and power....

So, that's the story line? Of course no, there are more. Christine, who disguised as Miss Diana using Ah-Quan's body while working in Pessatto, collecting evidence for her murder isn't really the only main theme here. Through Miss Diana, she finally realized what's her impression in others' eyes, an arrogant, stuborn, bossy, dominating and etc...And if it's you, how you will feel about all the negative feedback? Nobody in the company actually care or miss her after her death, not even her own husband. Not only this, when she discovered her husband were actually cheating on her with her secretary, and her only sister who usually appeared to be a good-girl at home, is actually a rebelious, pub-going girl, and worst of all, a good liar. After realizing her failure in her love life, her family, even her social life...she learned to feel remorse, to feel regret, and wish to be revived and given another chance to change everything, but a dead person doesn't has the chance...So, she finally decided to make things right this time, using Miss Diana, to get into her family, and to be a new person, to correct the things, at least she can feel some peace before going on her way.

On the other hand, Ah-Quan, who used to be a barbarian, who doesn't know how to reason, also experienced the ''reformation'' . Losing his wife, and his status as leader of his village, together with advice from Christine that come time by time, he learnt to change as well. He learnt to control his temper, to be reasonable, and to be loving...

Hence, together they worked, while trying to solve the case, they also learnt valuable lessons, learnt to accept own mistake, learnt to feel sorry and to have the courage to change and at last...

My personal view on this drama is that, it's one of the best drama. Not because of the comedy, not because of the actors, but because of the themes, and how the writer conveys his opinion on the theme '' Willing to change'', through this dead Christine, and this barbaric Ah-Quan, with some element of suspense, and theme on love and lots more. It basically makes the watcher to think relect as well, to think and to learn to have the courage to change, and more importantly, to cherish the time when you are alive. The drama starts with lots jokes that makes you laugh , mixed with lots of touching scenes, and ends with lots of lessons. Everyone should watch it, i strongly recommend, as you will not only be entertained, but be educated as well.Love it very much.

Below i have the links for you whoever wanna to see trailer, or to download the drama, not so sure if they have english subtitles, haven't downloaded, but strongly recommend to watch the trailer, it's a MV actually.Enjoy.

1) http://www.leechvideo.com/video/view2583574.html
2) http://bbs.zorland.com/viewthread.php?tid=87021&extra=page%3D1&page=3

The Breathing

So, it's my holidays this week, and i have got nothing to do,but to stay at home and just eat, sleep and play games. Contribute nothing and not even help with my family business, i guess i have been really useless. I have always have problem with this...being useless. I wish i can be usefull, at least i won't have to feel ashamed of myself. So, whenever there's something i can help out at home, i will do it, especially when my mom needs help in chores.

Often, i wish i could be useful, could mean something important to someone, to be significant, to be someone's air and question is, am i? Of course, to my family, i have no grudges, nothing. They love me so much, i don't have to wake up early to help out with family business, nor work with my dad in the business. I am indeed, someone precious to them, because i am part of the family. And to have such loving family, i guess i am pretty lucky.

Now, you are a treasure to your family, that's of course. But to be someone's air, someone's breath that has no genetic relations with you, that is not easy at all. Love has to come first, but just the words aren't enough. I once heard that '' faith is not measured by words, but deeds'' and i agreed totally, so do love. And you yourself are the only one who knows the answer. Yes, maybe you are someone's treasured pearl, but the question is, do you cherish him/her? Do you feel grateful? Will you make him/her your universe? Aha..probably there are still long way to go, no worries, we have plenty of time. But, believe me, cherish the present, every single moment, because you don't know when you will lose it unless you(and your partner) have full confidence (then i will have to congratulate you, because other than death, nothing can separate both of you, but honestly, rarely) and you will know the word ''regret'' once you lose it. So, make every single moment memorable, after all, you have nothing to lose when you try and do your best to make sure it lasts, as long as the breathing continues...

So, back to me now....I am sort of spaced out today, pretty low in spirit and kinda down. My feelings, my mood, my emotions...I wish i can unleash all out, to just stretch out, to shout out, to flush them out, to scream my heart out, and then return to myself, and continue the breathing...

Celebration Of The Birth Of Nine God Kings.

Yesterday I went to the once-a-year celebration festival of the birth of Nine God Kings, in a town near my home with my whole family. It's a traditional celebration all over Malaysia among the Chinese society in only certain temples, (the Tao one), where it's said that the 1st of 9th month til 9th of 9th month in lunar calendar, is the birthday of the Nine God Kings in heaven. And it's always comes with the rain, and goes with the rain too. Thus, during this period of celebration, it will always be raining day ( Raining is actually considered to be God's duty - the Dragon King, and raining actually means prosperity, as a gift to humans(the farmers) in the past.). It's celebrated every year in Malaysia, with lots of performances, and during this period, you can usually see lots of Chinese people wearing a yellow string on their wrist as a method to show participation in the celebration.

This celebration lasts for 9 days, and there will be lots of worshipping ceremony everyday. Food are served only in vegetables or anything non-related to killing as a respect. Other than that, the temple management council will also invite perfomance team (local singers) to provide entertainment every night, and also as a way to attract people come over to join the joy. Hence, basically, everyday during the period, one can expect to see smoke of incense all over the temple,day and night. One of the most interesting parts of this festival is the possesion of the Gods' spirit in selected people. It's said that during this time, the Gods will take control of selected followers and possess them. And when they are being possessed, the Gods will completely take control of their bodies, and act according to His behaviour. One of Gods in the heaven, is Na Zha (a little child which is very naughy,for more details, look in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nezha_deity ). And of course, there will be lots of piercings of needles, of steel rods on the possessed body to show the superiority of Gods.




At day 7th, usually there will be parade on the streets. Where you can see the Gods (possessed people) showing walking and visiting the town with piercings and different sets of clothes (according to their appearances), together with the members of the temple management council, where they will be drums and all sorts of celebration activity as in a parade on the street. And this parade will not be canceled, even if it's raining, and followers will also be walking together with the whole bunch of people, and just join for the celebration. Moreover, the Gods might even walk through the hot charcoal on the floor, or step on the sharp objects, using His ''human body''.

On the last day, the Gods will be sent back to heaven at night, through the river, as they come by the river as well. They will be sent in paper boat made with paper and be burned (as it's believed it's a way to send things or connect with the other world) on the river. Of course, welcoming and parting ceremonies are in huge scale the same way. There will be lots of followers joining the ceremony, where at first, there will be praying done in the temple, and then together everyone will be walking to the nearby river (where they are being fetched). It's really an interesting event where you can see huge number of people celebrating the event and sharing the joys.And definitely, I guess it's good to know that lots of people are still believing and having faith in their religion.

The Night

It’s been so long eversince I looked into the sky at night and today, I happened to be able to force myself to go out at night due to my hungry stomach. I have been hiding in my nest for the whole day, reading and playing games until now. Usually I will have eaten my dinner in the evening, like 7-8 pm but today, seems like I am too lazy to even walk out from my room and thus I haven’t had my dinner yet (it’s 10.15pm). If possible, I will have chosen not to go out, but too bad, my stomach started to grumble, and hence, I have no choice but to obey my biological senses – to eat.


So, I decided to eat at the ‘mamak stall’(road-side, simple food stalls owned by Indians) located outside my apartment, since it’s the only food stall around here. I ordered a Maggi Goreng, which is basically fried instant noodles, and well, I waited like 20 minutes there which at first, I decided to take away, but due to this long waiting time, finally I chose to just eat there. Doing nothing but sitting there and waiting, I looked into the dark sky. It’s a cloudless night, without any stars in sight. Clear and has a beautiful dark colour with some cold wind. Sitting under the tree, with the street light nearby, surprisingly, I sort of enjoyed the time there, though I was just sitting there. I think maybe this scenary, this activity of eating outside at ‘mamak stall’, sort of represents part of the normal life routine of a typical Malaysian youngster. Or maybe it’s just because that I haven’t been out of my room for the whole day, and therefore I feel much better when I am able to get some fresh air, especially when the night is windy.


After a while, my food was ready there, and I ate instantly (hungry) and in no time, I finished my food. Paid the money , I walked home straight. The cold breeze blowing right towards me made me felt so good, and seemed like succeed in refreshing my mind and my tired body. I bet everyone will have felt the same too, when you are able to walk silently under the street light, without much distraction, under the waving tree branches, with cold breeze blowing right towards your face. Of course, it will be much better if your lover is together with you, walking hand in hand. But I guess it’s fine for me, and in fact, this walking actually helped me to reduce my sadness and feeling of missing towards my beloved one. Maybe the breeze did help. To think again, actually there’s nothing to feel sad about, we still can be together, and to have someone to love you, and knowing that though far away, there’s still someone who cares for you, and to have so much love with you, what else you can ask for? It’s simple life, but happy enough for me, after all, I am just a simple person, with a simple smile and a simple life…

Crayon Shin Chan

If you are a manga freak, you will definitely know about this evil, funny, naughty but somehow cute Shin Chan. Shin Chan is a 5 years old little kid which are extremely naughty, and because of his mischievous behaviour, he is very popular and the favourite of most of the readers. Always talking nonsense and making lot of jokes here and there, he is a weirdo and always in his own world. Though he is very naughty, and always fool around with his mother (Misae) and his father (Nohara), but deep inside, he has a golden heart , full of kindness, loves and one of the priceless values which hardly be found anymore – innocence. He has the body of 5 years old kid and yet his big head contains a soul or a mind which sometimes can be very mature, and sometimes so innocence that he touches everyone’s heart.


Personally , I like this manga very much. There are lots of reasons for me to be fond of this manga. I love the simplicity shown, of a happy family with different spices of life – when Shin Chan is being chased by Misae after he finished playing his mother lipstick or wearing her bra; when Shin Chan takes care of his little sister (Himawari); when Nohara is fighting with Misae; when they all sit together enjoying a dinner….It’s such a blissful life. Of course , together with Shin Chan ever-stopping jokes around, the manga becomes a warming, touching, funny and simple reading material that can cheer you up even in your worst day. It brings hopes and happiness when one indulges in that world, because of the love (Misae and Nohara, Shin Chan and family), simplicity of life (nothing as complex as the real world), and of course the purest innocence in Shin Chan which will cheer you up for sure. It’s a world of fantasy, such a wonderful life, so simple, so warming and it’s my world of fantasy too. Really envy such a beautiful life….


Follow the life routine of Shin Chan and his family, where they will show you a simple yet happy life, that is able to touch you and wake you up on how much you have missed while busy pursuing money in your life. Let your mind soars in their world, and find back your long lost innocence soul….