The Breathing

So, it's my holidays this week, and i have got nothing to do,but to stay at home and just eat, sleep and play games. Contribute nothing and not even help with my family business, i guess i have been really useless. I have always have problem with this...being useless. I wish i can be usefull, at least i won't have to feel ashamed of myself. So, whenever there's something i can help out at home, i will do it, especially when my mom needs help in chores.

Often, i wish i could be useful, could mean something important to someone, to be significant, to be someone's air and question is, am i? Of course, to my family, i have no grudges, nothing. They love me so much, i don't have to wake up early to help out with family business, nor work with my dad in the business. I am indeed, someone precious to them, because i am part of the family. And to have such loving family, i guess i am pretty lucky.

Now, you are a treasure to your family, that's of course. But to be someone's air, someone's breath that has no genetic relations with you, that is not easy at all. Love has to come first, but just the words aren't enough. I once heard that '' faith is not measured by words, but deeds'' and i agreed totally, so do love. And you yourself are the only one who knows the answer. Yes, maybe you are someone's treasured pearl, but the question is, do you cherish him/her? Do you feel grateful? Will you make him/her your universe? Aha..probably there are still long way to go, no worries, we have plenty of time. But, believe me, cherish the present, every single moment, because you don't know when you will lose it unless you(and your partner) have full confidence (then i will have to congratulate you, because other than death, nothing can separate both of you, but honestly, rarely) and you will know the word ''regret'' once you lose it. So, make every single moment memorable, after all, you have nothing to lose when you try and do your best to make sure it lasts, as long as the breathing continues...

So, back to me now....I am sort of spaced out today, pretty low in spirit and kinda down. My feelings, my mood, my emotions...I wish i can unleash all out, to just stretch out, to shout out, to flush them out, to scream my heart out, and then return to myself, and continue the breathing...