The End Of World...

The storm hasn't stopped since my birthday that day, and i am sure that this month is the worst month ever in my life. Days are getting darker and darker as time passed by, and the pain is getting more and more unbearable. I tried to be strong, i tried not to cry, but still the tears will not stop coming down off my cheeks. It's really embarrasing for a man to cry, but i did cry and that's the truth. It's believed that tear has magical power, that it's able to take away one's sadness, but somehow it didn't work this time, even after i have cried lots of times...

Woke up very early this morning, my eyes are still red, and i still can find the tears are still there, and i am trying my best to hold it. Washed my face, wishing i can wash away the sign of tears, but it's still there. I looked at myself in front of the mirror, i see inside my own eyes, and i couldn't find a soul there. I put my hand in front of my chest, tried to feel my heart, but there's nothing there. The only thing is the body, without any soul or heart. I know where they have been...

Regret and sad, i started to hate myself for failing everyone. I kept telling myself to endure, because they said, after the rain, the sun will come out soon. And i kept telling myself, to keep my strength and faith, that this is just a test. I don't know whether it helps, i only know that i want to be there. I have often live in darkness, stretching my hands looking for a light, and now that i found it, just when i wanna to grab it and hold it tight, it started to slip through my fingers...

Maybe, maybe this is how it feels, the end of world...