I Dreamed A Dream

For past few weeks, i was busy preparing for my exams, studying and stressing myself to cope up with the different projects, family and all the small little things in life. And when i am alone in my room, i dreamed of the past and the dreams i used to have. Dreams that probably have been killed by myself, i was wondering, and well my day just gone down the slope...

That day while my groupmates and i were sitting and discussing at the learning suite, they opened the youtube link and Susan Boyle in Bristh Got Talent show 2009, stunning the whole audience including the judges, with her beautiful voice singing 'I Dreamed A Dream' from Les Miserables musical. It was touching to hear the song, and get the message and wake up call from God that never ever to look down at people who you think is 'lower standard' than you are. Incredible...

Perhaps the song somehow reflected how i feel recently, dreams that have been consumed by the reality. Listening to the song again, and i can't stop the tears of love and innocence from rolling in my eyes, as if i have been touched by an angel...

There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting.

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting.

There was a time ...then it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hopes were high and life worth living,

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid,

When dreams were made and used and wasted.

There was no ransom to be paid,

No song unsung, no wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night,

With their voices soft as thunder,

As they tear your hope apart

As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side.

He filled my days with endless wonder,

He took my childhood in his stride,

But he was gone when autumn came.

And still I dream he'll come to me

And we will live the years together!

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream

I dreamed...

(I Dreamed A Dream, Les Miserables)

Susan Boyle - I Dreamed A Dream - Susan Boyle

Sacrifices

How long has it been? I wonder. Too lazy, too busy, too nerdy perhaps...slowly i have sort of abandoned my small little world. There are too many things to learn and life's become somehow 'regular' for me, which suppose to be a good thing for most people, but for indiscipline people like me, it means a change, and it's a tremendous and scary one.

Not really sure yet about this change, is it a good thing or a bad one? Though i am sort of used to it already,at least. Life's seem to be somehow automatic, with tight schedules and long hours. It's a future i am trying to create, bet this is the difficult part. After all, if one want to see a better view, one has to climb higher and walk further. I believe it...

So i spent my one hour time here in university while waiting for my group members to arrive and discuss about our community based project before going to our agency, which i hope will be smooth for me, since i always got this 'new-faces' phobia. Sigh, another project, and with all the physiology, pharmacology, clinical skills, anatomy and etc etc...let's hope i won't lose any more hair nor become crazy.

Perhaps all of these are part of the sacrifices...

Dreams And Reality

I have done it, i know it and i am sure of it. Time flows, the cycles of dawn and dusk keep repeating again and again, as if nothing has changed, just like a frozen picture reflecting everyday's routine. By the time i realized, i am pretty sure i have lost my inspirations, my ideas and perhaps my innocence...

If one is to do a research on effects of sedentary life on people from all aspects - thoughts, health, ideas, souls and etc, i could probably be the best subject for the research to be carried out. I have wasted a lot of time, no doubt of it. But to think again, nothing is really wasted, only being exchanged in a way much like a business. I have paid my so called ''fees'', and i have gained something in return, something abstract and invisible, like a lesson in life. Perhaps, in the end we all need to give up our dreams and innocence, as a ''fee'' to buy the precious life lesson of the reality in the process of growing up. Dreams will exist as dream, and there won't be fairy godmother to change anything. And how many people are there to have turned the dreams into reality?

The moon is so bright tonight, one of the rare occasions where one can see such elegantly beautiful full moon. Perhaps hidden beneath this veneer of breathtaking beauty is a never ending struggles in the reality world. I am sure the balding rubber trees around and the dogs beside concur as well...

Times of Your Life

Was on the way sending my younger brother to school, listening to the radio and got all my senses awaken from the dropping eyelids, side-bending body and the half conscious mind when a song called ''Times Of Your Life'' broadcasted in the radio. I struggled hard to open my eyes, and focus on all my attention to listening to song, as if the song has some magnetic waves that trigger some action potentials in the neurons, and become resonance with my soul and mood. I knew that i need to listen to the song.

''Times Of Your Life'' - a classic hit in 1975 by Paul Anka, with beautiful melody and touching lyrics that can draw the tears out of your eyes and the taste of missing out of your heart. However, the version that i listened in the car was not sung by Paul Anka, but a new version by Joanna 王若琳, a Chinese artist with such soft but powerful voice, i was surprised to know that it was a female Chinese artist and not someone from the west after the DJ introduced at the end of the song. You wouldn't know nor believe it was sung by female Chinese artist. A must listen song by all the classic lovers.

Good morning, yesterday

You wake up and time has slipped away

And suddenly it's hard to find

The memories you left behind

Remember, do you remember

The laughter and the tears

The shadows of misty yesteryears

The good times and the bad you've seen

And all the others in between

Remember, do you remember

The times of your life (do you remember)

Reach back for the joy and the sorrow

Put them away in your mind

The mem'ries are time that you borrow

To spend when you get to tomorrow

Here comes the saddest part (comes the saddest part)

The seasons are passing one by one

So gather moments while you may

Collect the dreams you dream today

Remember, will you remember

The times of your life

Gather moments while you may

Collect the dreams you dream today

Remember, will you remember

The times of your life

Of your life

Do you remember, baby

Do you remember the times of your life

Do you remember, baby

Do you remember the times of your life

By: Joanne 王若琳

Times of your life - 王若琳JOANNA (Wang Ruo Lin)

Ogre Metamorphosis

Been some time since i wrote here. Probably sleeping too much and such sedentary life have retarded the growth of neurons in the frontal cortex of my brain, in exchange for the enlargement of the neurons in my brain stem and medulla. The result, obviously - my creativity and imagination gradually evaporating, which in turn metamorphoses me into a little ogre with not much ideas in mind, probably worse than Shrek. And worst of all, the holidays are still long way to go.

But to think the other way around, holidays are good, at least i can do things, not following the tight schedule and i can play games, best of all i have the high speed internet here, compared to the hostel slow-turtle-like type of speed that probably one would fall asleep before the word ''Google'' appears in the screen. But are these really good reasons for sacrificing my precious neurons? Of course no, though there are one more thing that is worthy for me to undergo this ''ogre-metamorphosis'', something called family.

It's 2009, and it means a new page in my life chapters and since i don't possess Charmed One - Phoebe's witchcraft power to see future, nor Doraemon's time machine, and of course i will not have a tomorrow's newspaper drop in front of my door with a cat beside so that i can the save the world from maybe accidents, murders, thievery, robbing and answers for exam questions perhaps? So, it all comes down to i don't know what will happen tomorrow nor in the future. But there is one thing that i do have, the control of my body and mind. I believe that if i am to plant a sunflower seed, i will definitely get sunflower and not oranges, provided if i know what i am doing and some good extra environmental factors, it will definitely be sunflower, and not oranges nor rambutans. Well, it's not some special power, but it's good enough, no?

And you ll just need to believe in yourself...

My Last Day Of 19 Years Old

My last day, living as a 19 years old boy, there comes lots of thoughts and memories. And I finally realize how long is actually 20 years. I guess this is how it feels, to have the memories and experiences for 20 years. It is in fact, a long period of time and can make all the differences in one’s life, though time is a impudent one, that it passes so fast without coming back, second by second….

Learnt a lot about the facts and truths of life, the world and of course myself, that the world is governed by the principal of equivalent trade, that people will have to sacrifice something in order to gain something, at least until now I still believe in it. We will definitely gain something, when we have put effort on something, whether it will be a good or a bad consequence is another issue, depending on how we define good and bad. In any case, we gain something that others didn’t in the end.

Tomorrow will be the day I walk into my twenties. Growing up, it means more freedom, respect, power; at the same time, more responsibility, expectation, problems…and I understand now that why certain people want to go back to their childhood. I guess if you can’t run away from it, then you should just prepare and face it with everything you have learnt. Time never stops, this is the reality… it is life, after all.

And so, I bid farewell to the last day of my 19 years old…

Hometown & Holidays

I have been in hometown for more than a week, sounds very short but seems to have happened lots of things. Perhaps it's true that when one is busy occupying with something, time passes by fast. Watching drama, playing computer games and etc, life seems to be simple and easy...

Hometown, a special place that when it rains, it's a rain of memories; when it shines, it's the light of hopes. The sky will always remind you of your origin, and the trees will always remind you of your root. It's a beautiful place where all the beautiful precious memories and experiences flow back to you, but it's also a place with some hidden darkness. The source of all the ideas, ambitions, thoughts, beliefs and values in the mind, brought back into the minds, with each breeze passes by, as if trying to keep reminding you of all the importance things and goals in life. And so, the inner fire is still burning silently...

The holidays are still very long, so do the goals. It's said that holidays are the rest stations in life, for us to rest and walk even further, just like a seed lying dormant underground, waiting for the right moment to sprout and become a fruitful tree...