Perhaps

It's the end of year already, almost everyone has gone back to their home, and parting is one of the inevitable events. However, it seems like there are more separations than ever this year, and it leaves marks on the heart, just like a burn mark on the shirt.

I have been staying in the hut for 2 years, a hut that has been sheilding me from the dark cold snow and rain outside. There are lots of good and bad times, sweet beautiful times. Spent time and effort trying to make it my permanent home, a home for my heart. Problem is, can i risk my heart there, of being crushed and broken one day? Or should i just walk away, leaving the hut for suitable others to occupy, and wandering in the outside world again...?

I couldn't be sure myself, there's always storm outside, and i will definitely feeling cold from time to time. Maybe time is what i need and perhaps, i will never be able to leave that hut...

I guess this is how i feel...

''It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope,
Which then turned into a quite thought, which then turned into a quite word.
And then that word grew louder and louder, ‘til it was a battle cry,
I ll come back… when you call me,
No need to say goodbye.
Just because everything’s changing, doesn’t meant it’s never been this way before.
All you can do is try to know who your friends are, as you head off to the war.
Pick a star on the dark horizon, and follow the light,
You ll come back, when it’s over, no need to say goodbye,
You ll come back, when it’s over, no need to say goodbye.

Now we are back to the beginning, it’s just a feeling and no one knows yet.
But just because they cant feel it too, doesn’t mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger ‘til they’re before your eyes.
You ll come back, when they call you, no need to say goodbye
You ll come back, when they call you,
No need to say goodbye…''

The Call, by Regina Spektor in The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian.


*Song with just lyrics


*Ending part of Narnia (MV of The Call)

WALL.E

Alone, for 700 years...doing the same old routine everyday in a lonely planet left by others, somehow he survives. Living contentedly, picking up all the garbage and the unwanted items among clusters of rubbish, making his own sweet home, and of course his only friend, a small cockroach. How this small waste loader robot can do all these?

WALL.E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth Class), how this small robot will touch your heart when he took care of his loved one, followed her back, and all the small little things, just for her in the name of love. How sweet and beautiful, so innocent and ignorant with only strong faith in himself, just hoping to hold her hand...

A movie based on love as the main theme. The love for other, love for mother nature, love between humans, and etc etc. Perhaps, we don't really need a soul to learn how to love, as long as there are ''sparks of magic'', love will grow, just like green plants...

I should say, the best hero created so far by Pixar.

''It's worth dying for someone like WALL.E, even if he is just a small dirty robot, because he has the most beautiful heart of all - a heart full of love...''

Into Album

Tomorrow is the day, the day my first year of MBBS programme ends. And so, these few days have been busy preparing my OSCE. Things seem to be fine, but will we ever know what will happen tomorrow?

Life can be so random sometimes, and so do human's emotion. And we ll never be able to predict how people will react to each other, including love. And so, in order to make things easier, something called 'faith' comes into play. But do you have faith?

I guess it's really time to go, when everything has no meaning, being there will just be annoying to the other. Usually people will leave with compliments taken together, while i guess i ll leave with all the negative feelings and unsatisfactions from the other. My mind has started to get blank, out of idea what to do. I doubted it works in one-way direction...

And so, i will be kept inside an album, and will just be a piece of memory waiting to be deleted one day. But i suppose it's ok, as long as happiness is guaranteed and the journey continues without me...

Missing And Losing

Whenever thoughts or feelings spur inside my mind, I always enjoy writing them out, as such feelings and thoughts are rarely the interest of others to spend time to be the listeners. The mood recently is on the down side, and the affect today is rather sad. The sun is bright outside, as if trying to cheer me up, though I doubted it worked. When it comes, it comes silently; and when it goes, it goes mutely…

Sitting in Starbucks coffee shop yesterday night after dinner, looking at how they have started to put up all the decorations for Christmas, my heart sinks and strings of nostalgic feelings consumed me. How fast, it’s almost the end of the year already. As all the Christmas items were being put up, just like the opening of curtain, season of love seem to have entered the stage…

Tomorrow is the final written exam, and i am more than stressful. I am still struggling to finish my revision, and comfort the wounded heart. Regretted never study well, and to lose it. When time passed by, it never comes back; and when bird flies away, it never flies back…

Perhaps it’s time to learn how to let go when the other has moved on…

And now the sky has started to rain...

A Simple Thought

Of a sudden, the long lost strange feeling of emptiness creep silently into my mind again. Water showering on my listless face, trying to get some warm with my eyes closing. Turn off the water, I wish to have a good sleep, knowing that another day has passed. Family, love, friendships, honesty, kindness, purity, ignorance and life…

We are always searching for meaning, somewhere and somehow, trying to make sense out of everything in life. Feeling helpless when nobody can understand you, or when you are not belonged. We have always wanted more than what we have, and never stop for a while to reflect on all the tiny little wonders we have in our lives now, and as in such we are always grabbing, fighting to get more, in an endless abyss.

Love can be very simple if one is understanding enough, caring enough, tolerate enough, and of course, loving enough. It exists in all sort of forms, between parents and children, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives, friends, and all the surrounding things. We don’t need romantic melodies, nor elegance roses to praise it, it’s just there once the hearts are connected.

The light is off, I pull up the blanket and crawl into my sweet nest. With my body curls up, my breath fell on my palms and I know I am indeed lucky. Things in life can be really complicated and totally mess up your mood, but I do my best to ‘cartoonize’ everything little problem, at least innocence, ignorance and laughter can be found in cartoon world. I am glad not because of how much love I have gotten, but because I know how to cherish and be able to give out love. And so, I smile before being carried into the world of dreams…

''Anger and sadness are not the last feelings I wanna to experience…but love.''

Malaysia For One

Malaysia, a multi-cultural country where there are different races of people living together in this 329,847 km2 land. Since years ago before reaching independent, people of various races have been living together until now. Malays, Chinese, Indians, Iban, Kadazan, Bajau, Dusun and etc, all having their own unique culture. A mixture of everything, just like colours.

It’s part of human’s nature to be selfish, individually or in groups. So it’s not unusual to have arguments between races from time to time. We all have two eyes, two hands, legs, nose and ears, and the only difference is the colour of skin. And the question is, is the colour of skin is so important to even forget that we are all born from the same tree of different branches? Defining things are always human’s special ability, to be able to think rationally. Ironically, it’s also part of human’s weaknesses, to differentiate and judge on people by their skin colours, how funny.

One love undivided, fair and square. People living together in harmony and happily without dissatisfaction. One home for all of us, is all we should ask for…

(Below is a song made by Malaysia artists : Here in My Home)

青花瓷 Green Flowerish Porcelain

I have always enjoyed listening to songs which use chinese traditional musical instruments. And recently i found one song which the whole song is sung based on the chinese traditional style, with beautiful lyrics and music. Listening to this song, somehow i can feel the gentleness and the beauty of the traditional Oriental...

青花瓷 Green Flowerish Porcelain

素胚勾勒出青花笔锋浓转淡　
瓶身描绘的牡丹一如妳初妆
冉冉檀香透过窗心事我了然　
宣纸上走笔至此搁一半

釉色渲染仕女图韵味被私藏　
而妳嫣然的一笑如i苞待放
妳的美一缕飘散　
去到我去不了的地方

Chorus
*天青色等烟雨　而我在等妳
炊烟袅袅昇起　隔江千万里
在瓶底书汉隶仿前朝的飘逸　
就当我为遇见妳伏笔

天青色等烟雨　而我在等妳　
月色被打捞起　晕开了结局
如传世的青花瓷自顾自美丽
妳眼带笑意*

色白花青的锦鲤跃然于碗底　
临摹宋体落款时却惦记著妳
妳隐藏在窑烧裡千年的秘密　
极细腻犹如绣花针落地

帘外芭蕉惹骤雨门环惹铜绿　
而我路过那江南小镇惹了妳
在泼墨山水画裡　
你从墨色深处被隐去

(Repeat Chorus)

The brush outlines a beautiful pattern, brush strokes becoming lighter. The peony on the bottle, simplest beauty, just like you .Whiffs of incense smoke bring your troubles to my heart. I pause halfway while painting.

The glazing of the lady’s portrait hides her charm. Your smile, to me, like a budding flower. But your beauty dissipates like smoke, to a place I can never reach.

The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you. From a thousand miles away, I gaze at the curling chimney smoke. The calligraphy beneath the bottle, elegance of the Han Dynasty. Our meeting I foreshadowed.

The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you. The moonlight smudged away the remnants of our ending. Like legendary porcelain obsessed with itself, your eyes full of laughter.

Those blue carp seem to come alive on the white bowl. While I am imitating the Song inscription I’m thinking of you. The eon of secrets you buried in the kiln. It’s exquisiteness like an embroidery needle.

The banana tree outside brought the sudden downpour, and in turn the copper rust on the door handle. My passing by Jiangnan brings me to you. Yet you fade away into the deep abyss of the Chinese painting.

(translation extracted from Chinatown.blogspot, special thanks)